For The First Time In Forever
by Kris Morene
Summary: Picks up after the Season 3 finale. Pixie dust doesn't lie. Robin and Regina are destined to be together, but the road ahead will not be easy. Robin would not be the man Regina fell in love with if he was willing to disregard his marriage vows, and can Regina continue on the path of light when another love has been cruelly snatched from her grasp by the Charming family?
1. Chapter 1

**If you've been following "Never Let Go", my Captain Swan story, the final chapter will be posted in a few days! I won't leave you hanging, I promise. In the meantime, I just couldn't stand to see Regina so devastated at the end of the Season 3 finale, so of course, I had to fix it! I hope you like it, and love it or hate it, please do drop me a review to let me know! I love your feedback.**

**-KM-**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

Her heart in her throat, refusing to allow Emma Swan to see her tears, Regina managed two steps out of the diner before she could no longer blink back the haze of moisture clouding her vision and hot tears slipped down her cheeks. She felt a hand on her elbow and hurriedly brushed at her cheeks with the back of her hand. She whirled to face the one person who had dared come after her. "What do you want?"

"Merely to inquire about your well being." Hook replied.

"I'm fine."

His only answer was a raised eyebrow."Obviously not, your highness." He let his hand drop from her arm. "I would implore you not to do anything rash, if not for your own sake, for Henry's."

She glared at him. "You can relax Hook. I've no plans to flatten the town, or your girlfriend. My son would never forgive me for it."

"I didn't think you would." He reached into his pocket and offered her his flask. "Looks like you could use this."

She took it, knocked back a healthy swallow and moved to hand it back. He waved it away. "I've plenty more where that came from." She nodded and slipped it into her pocket. "Shall I have Emma send Henry by this evening?"

She shook her head. "No. I'd rather be alone tonight." Her voice sounded hollow even to her.

"Very well. May I escort you home?" He offered.

"No. I'll be fine." Hook looked skeptical. "Really. I'm going to get myself a pint of chocolate ice cream, a sappy movie, and a glass of wine and attempt to forget these last few days ever happened for a while."

"I think you'll require more than a glass of wine to accomplish that." Hook observed.

"Well, perhaps more than a glass." She conceded.

"Goodnight, then." As she'd apparently managing to convince him that she wasn't homicidal, he turned to go, leaving her standing alone on the path. She raised her hand and disappeared in her signature cloud of smoke.

She rematerialized in her crypt, walking swiftly through the door to the dimly lit workroom in the back. She resisted the urge to rip her heart from her chest, wanting nothing more than to lessen the anguish, but to do this she needed it in her chest or the pain would be for nothing. She withdrew a box from the shelf, opening it to reveal parchment, a silver fountain pen, and a small knife. Setting pen and parchment aside, she raised the knife to her arm and began to cut.

* * *

**Next chapter should be up in a few days! Thanks so much for reading. Please review and let me know what you think! I'd love to know where you think the story is going, how you feel about it, and what you're liking or not liking, especially if you've favorited or followed! **

**-KM-**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Robin had looked for Regina the moment he'd gotten over his shock. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he looked all the same.

"She's gone home, mate." Hook's voice came from behind him. "She wanted some space."

He nodded. "Understood. Thank you."

"Robin, who's gone?" Marian asked, confused.

"I will explain it all to you later, Marian."

She nodded, trusting that he would. The party ended rather quickly after, and Robin, Marian and Roland walked to the camp of the Merry Men. He showed her the tent and ducked out for a moment for more sleeping furs, leaving her to settle Roland.

When he returned, he found her holding a parchment. "Robin, what is this?"

"I have no idea." He took it from her, seeing his name on the front, and broke the seal, quickly reading the few lines of text, Marian curiously reading over his shoulder.

"Robin~

Please know I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. I will not approach you, not attempt to harm you or your family in any way. Be happy.

By my hand and blood,

Regina"

"Robin?" Marian questioned. "She really won't hurt us?"

He shook his head. "She wouldn't hurt us."

"But she's the Evil Queen."

He shook his head. "She's not evil. I don't think she ever really was."

Marian took the note from him, rereading it and examining the dark crimson ink. "Is this...blood?"

"I think so." Robin nodded. "If it's her blood, it's binding. She's cursed herself."

"But why?"

"It's quite a long story." He motioned for her to sit. "Let me tell you." And he did. He told her of the curse, of the thirty years she'd been gone, of missing her, and of moving on. All of it except Regina's confession about Tinkerbell, as he felt he'd be breaking a confidence. It simply wasn't his story to tell.

"You...and the Queen?" Marian questioned when he finished. He nodded. "Do you love her?"

"We'd only been together a few days." He replied, evading the question. "Marian, you've nothing to worry about. My vows are to you and I intend to keep them."

She nodded. "Thank you for confiding in me. I know it can't have been easy." She kissed his cheek. "This will be an adjustment for us both. We will get through it together." She offered her hand to him. "Come to bed. It's late."

He nodded and they settled down to sleep. Marian quickly dozed off against him, while he stared at the roof of the tent attempting to make sense of the whirl of emotions spinning through his mind.

* * *

**Is anyone reading this? I've never posted a chapter and gotten no reviews at all before, so I'm wondering if I should continue or if this story totally sucks! **

**-KM-**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow! Thank you so much for all the love! I'm thrilled you are enjoying the story! **

**-KM-**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

It was done. She'd sent the parchment away in a puff of purple smoke, quickly healed the cut on her arm and incinerated the rags she'd used to sop up the blood with a wave of her hand. Technically, she didn't have to send the parchment to Robin; the spell was complete as soon as she'd signed her name, but she genuinely wanted him to know that as much as she was hurting, she would not stand in the way of their happiness. Roland deserved his mother, and she cared for Robin too much to put herself between him and his happy ending.

Her hands shook as she replaced the rest of the parchment in the box. Though the damage had healed with no trace of a scar, her arm still ached, throbbing from her wrist to her shoulder. The cut had been deep. It had to be, as part of the price the spell demanded. Magic always came with a price, and this was a small one to pay. She had done so much to prove to herself, to prove to Henry, that she wasn't the evil queen anymore that this cost in pain and magical energy was minute in comparison to the relief she felt at the assurance that she now not only would not, but could not walk that path of destruction again.

The room spun a little, but she ignored the dizzy feeling from the blood loss and replaced the pen and knife in the box and put them back on the shelf, snuffing the candles with a thought as she left the room and closed the door. She closed her eyes and in an instant was standing in the security of her living room, leaning against the wall for a moment, pushing away the anguish of her broken, aching heart for a few more moments. Casting a quick shield on the house to discourage unwanted company, she headed upstairs, kicking off her shoes and stripping her clothes off on her way to the shower, leaving them uncharacteristically strewn about the room.

She turned on the shower and stepped in, not bothering to check the temperature. It scalded her skin, but she was beyond caring. She reached a shaking hand toward the soap, letting it fall back to her side as her breath caught in her throat and the tears began. Slowly, she sank to the floor of the shower, sobs wracking her body. For the first time in forever, she'd let herself believe that she could have it all, her family, true love, but fate had to intervene in the form of Emma Swan to remind her of what she never should've forgotten: Villains don't get happy endings.

She couldn't even blame Emma for the mess. If Regina hadn't ordered Marian's execution, Emma never would have felt compelled to bring Marian back to Storybrooke, and none of this would've happened. It would be so easy to blast Emma out of existence, but for Henry's sake, she couldn't, and it wouldn't help anything anyway. Making her son hate her was not going to improve the situation any. Robin and Marian would still be living their happily ever after, and Regina would still be alone.

She had no idea how long she sat there, the shower water hiding her tears, until finally the water turned freezing cold, shocking her back to reality. She turned off the water and pulled herself to her feet. Her skin felt tight and slightly sunburned as she towelled off and wrapped herself in a soft robe and headed downstairs, not nearly ready to face the night alone.

True to her word to Hook, she grabbed a pint of ice cream and a spoon from the kitchen and poured herself a generous glass of wine. Sitting down in front of the television, she downed half the wine in one gulp and began flipping channels in search of a distraction, eating the ice cream straight from the carton even though Henry would've been in trouble for doing exactly that. Three hours later, she'd finished slightly more than half the bottle of wine and slightly less than half the pint of ice cream and found herself watching inane cartoons on late night cable, the wine going straight to her head due to both blood loss and skipping dinner. Four hours later, the wine was almost gone, the pint of ice cream was sitting mostly melted on the table, and Regina was sound asleep on the couch, the television still flickering in the dark, the light from an old black and white cartoon reflected in the tracks of the tears on her cheeks.

* * *

Robin had been lying on his back unable to sleep for so long that he felt he knew every stitch in the canvas of the tent above his head. Finally losing patience with himself, he sat up and threw back the covers, climbing up out of bed.

"Robin?" Marian stirred. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I can't sleep. I'm going for a walk." He threw his jacket over his shoulders. "I need to clear my head."

"Are you going to see her?" Marian asked softly.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. "I'm worried for her. She's had as much of a shock as I have today. I'm hoping she's gone to sleep, but if her lights are on, I would feel better if I checked on her."

Marian nodded. "Go."

He stood and took two steps toward the door, then turned back. "Marian, I assure you, I intend to see her as a friend only-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Robin, you have always been an honest man. You have said you intend to keep to our vows, and I have no reason to doubt you. If it will ease your mind to check on-" She hesitated. "The queen, then do so. Roland and I will be here when you return."

He caught her hand and kissed it softly. "Thank you for understanding."

"Now go." She urged, shooing him toward the door.

He grabbed his bow and quiver from where they lay by the door and was quickly away into the darkness.

* * *

** I tried to make this chapter a little longer, so while you had to wait a few more days I hope it was worth it. Would you prefer longer, less frequent updates, or shorter more frequent ones? Please do let me know if you are enjoying the story, and what you'd like to see happen! **

**-KM-**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sorry this bit took so long, and that it's short. I tend to skip around as I write depending on my mood, so this story is mostly completely written in my notebook. I've got the middle and end written, and just need a few more of the beginning bits, of which this is one. I know it's short, but I wanted to share it with you sooner rather than making you wait any longer. Thank you so much for your patience and your reviews! **

**-KM-**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Robin approached Regina's house softly, his footfalls barely audible on the soft, wet grass. He saw that the house was dark, a flickering in the front window from the television the only light. Avoiding the streetlights by habit, he slipped into the shadows next to her window, sighing in relief when he saw her asleep on the couch, the wine and ice cream sitting on the coffee table. He allowed his eyes to drink in the sight of her for a few moments, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, her robe gaping slightly and displaying the curve of her breast, though not enough to be indecent. He saw the faint traces of tears on her cheeks and hated himself in that moment, knowing that he was certainly the cause. He had vowed to himself that he would never hurt her, that she could trust him with her heart, and he felt sick knowing that he may as well have crushed it to dust and ground it under his heel with the way he had treated her tonight.

More than anything, he wanted to slip in the window, pull her into his arms, kiss away her tears and swear to a thousand gods that he would never hurt her again, and only his vow to Marian and his honor kept him rooted to his spot in the garden while everything he ever wanted slept unknowingly on the other side of a thin pane of glass. He rested his arms on the windowpane, his fingers lightly touching the glass, watching her sleep as the moon rose higher in the sky, a chill in the air uncharacteristic for the usual warm May nights. Not knowing if he'd been standing there for minutes or hours, it took every last ounce of his willpower to draw himself away from the window and disappear into the darkness of the forest.

* * *

The sun streaming through the open curtains woke Regina early the next morning. She sat up slowly, her head pounding from the wine and her neck aching from sleeping on the sofa. Supporting herself on the arm of the couch, she gingerly drew herself to her feet, unsure if her dizziness was from dehydration or the remnants of last night's bottle of wine. Squinting in the bright morning light, she made her way into the kitchen and got a glass of water, downing it in one gulp and refilling it at the sink. She took the water upstairs with her, setting it on her nightstand before falling into a restless sleep on the still-made bed.

* * *

**Next chapter should be up in a few days! Thanks so much for reading. Please review and let me know what you think! **

**-KM-**


End file.
